My guru tells all

Last week I wrote about my Mum, Cathy. She’s the one person I admire more than anyone else.
She lives life in a way that I hope to replicate. I’ve been curious about how she has created such a happy and successful life. I’ve obviously witnessed how hard she works, but I was curious to find out what her personal mantras are. Has she consciously created her life, and if so is this something that we can all do?
Mum has been very generous and shared her thoughts on subjects from love and family to success and overall happiness. I hope you are inspired by her advice and it helps you to think about your life a little differently.

In your opinion, what is the secret to:


  • You need to see yourself in the core values of the person you love.

  • The one you choose is more important and valued above anything else (including your kids). This doesn’t mean you can’t pursue your own life or that you love others less. You need to keep this as a special kind of love which it is.

  • You need to be friends and like hanging out together.

  • You both need to remain independent from each other. Allow each other to explore things separately.

  • Acknowledge that you each have an ego.


  • Know ‘why’ you want to be healthy - then everything becomes second nature. Once I discovered this I didn’t need to be on diets or follow rigid exercise regimes etc, and its also why I find quiet time for myself.

  • Don’t limit what you can and can’t do. When we do this our ego will try and sabotage our success. This is why my ‘why’ is so important – I want to be fit and healthy to feel good and do the things I want to do. Such as skiing and bike riding with my grandkids (if I ever get any!!!) Just keep working at it and you will get to your why eventually…jeepers, I used to be a pack a day smoker!!


  • You don’t just get happiness – you need to build on it day by day. Know what is important to you and keep on this trajectory.

  • Become grateful everyday

  • Know that it doesn’t come out of social media channels or what others think of you. It comes from your own awareness and spiritual self.

  • Happiness for me is my connection to those I love, fulfilling a purpose and being healthy. (plus my dog, Trevor….and Barry Wilson!)


  • Respect and good manners are so important! I don’t mind people being honest with me but I can’t stand people being rude. It’s the old adage ‘do unto others as you would have others do unto you’.

  • Be nice and value each other. Just because we are family doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings; be kind and do special things for each other every now and then.

  • Don’t take each other for granted and keep to connected one another.

What is your philosophy for life? Is there something you say to yourself each day to help you live a good life?
My philosophy is: whatever we want we must become the givers of first.

  • If you want love - know what this is and give it out.

  •  If you want to be healthy - know what it looks and feels like to you and become that.

  • If you want a happy family - know what this looks like and give what it needs right from the start.

Life is not anyone else’s ideal but your own
What does success mean to you?
I used to think that success was about the things society measures success on (money, business, having nice things). Luckily, I realised fairly early that success to me is about having a go and not focusing on the results. I feel successful in the smaller things in life and that is all to do with my family and people.
What is the best piece of advice that you received from your Mum?
Mum’s actions had the most impact on me, more than any advice she may have given. She set the best example through the essence of who she was and how she lived her life.
I admired her because she was selfless. She cared intensely about all people and was kind and giving. She was sociable and loved a laugh. She was very direct, which meant she was real - she didn’t just tell you what you wanted to hear. She would welcome anyone into her home and was the most hospitable person I knew. She valued people over anything else.
She made the most of the situation she was in. Mum was a talented actor and singer before she was married and moved to the country. Instead of feeling limited, she set up a choral society in her town.
She was an amazing cook, so she created a successful catering business. She looked for opportunities to make the best life for her family and impact those around her.
She was the most devoted person to her family and was the protector of everything. Personally, she was always interested in what I had to say and she was the only person in the world that I felt I could depend on. She cared and loved at a level that we all need.

Thanks so much to Mum for taking the time to answer these questions in so much depth!
My biggest a-ha was around the ‘Love’ question. My Mum and Dad have the best relationship out of anyone I know and I’ve always wondered what their secret was - and now I know! It's about putting your partner above everyone else (even kids!), whilst making sure you're still independent from each other. So good!
Please comment below or send me an email if you learnt something new. I would also love to know the best advice that your Mum has ever given you.

Emily Beaton