I’m a really private person, so only a few of my close friends know this. I’ve barely mentioned it on social media and it may come as a shock to you.. I’m engaged.
Ok, ok. We all know I have not been able to contain my excitement. I’ve mentioned it upwards of a million times and I’ve casually incorporated my left ring finger into 97% of my Instagram stories. Subtlety is my strong point.
The reason I am so excited is (and this goes without saying) (it’s also a cliché) (it’s also true) I get to marry my favourite person! I love him heaps, you guys. So that’s pretty cool.
The other reason, is that for my whole life I’ve wanted to fall in love and get married. Not for the wedding (although, that is super fun!) but for the marriage itself.
I’m lucky enough to have been brought up by two people who are still ridiculously in love to this day. They love hanging out with each other and they created a family that I love being a part of. Basically, I want what they’ve got.
I don’t measure success by the ‘normal’ standards of money, fame, career. I feel successful when I have a happy home life. And you guys, I’ve got it. It’s not always sunshine and roses (I may have yelled at him today for telling me to email my accountant) but we love what we’ve got. And that’s really the epitome of happiness to me. Loving what you’ve got.
We can forever look over our shoulder and get distracted by every shiny little thing, but to me, loving what you have brings the most joy. This goes for your lover, your family, your clothes or your body.
Yeah, yeah I know you’ll say to me “but I don’t like what I’ve got”. Well, try. Can you at least accept it? Appreciate what bit of good it does bring you? Everything serves you in some way.
Let me give you an example: Our house isn’t my dream home. But I love the location. I love that we can afford it. I love the size and I love who I live with. I could write a list the size of my arm about what I’d like to change (so many!) but I won’t. I’m choosing to focus on the things I love!
Loving things as they are does not mean that you are accepting less in your life. It actually allows you to bring more good into your life. If you are constantly having negative thoughts about what you’re experiencing, you call in more of that negativity. It’s all you see and you commonly turn every event into a bad one. You complain more and it makes you feel like crap. (You're also not that fun to be around. Soz!)
It can be scary to be happy where you are when it’s not your end-goal. But it is the fastest way to get there. Plus, you get to feel happy in the mean-time. It’s a win-win!
When we focus on the good, we feel good. We find it easier to turn every situation into a positive one. We recognise more good things. We are open to more good coming in. Basically, we attract it.
It is so liberating to know that you can be happy regardless of external circumstances. If we wait to feel good when we’ve got every single thing we want - we’ll be waiting a bloody long time! Your life will pass you by and you will not have experienced as much joy as you could. And that makes me sad. Let go of your ideal situation and make the best of what is. The crazy thing is, when we let go we usually end up getting everything we dreamt of anyway. It’s not always easy, but it works.
Also, don’t be fearful that you won’t see new opportunities when they arise. There’s no way you’ll miss them. Plus, you’ll be in a better frame of mind to seize them when they come.
I’m not someone who has been able to maintain a ‘gratitude practise’, no matter how much Oprah I've watched. I tried and could never make it stick. It felt like I was only doing it to get more ‘stuff’. It felt like I was just ticking another box to ‘live my best life’.
By recognising how good things are in the moment I am happier day-to-day. I feel the happiness as it arises and I don’t feel bad if I forget to write it in a journal.
Now, please don’t worry if it sounds like I’m living in La La Land. I’m not. We all know how easy it is to see the shitty things in our lives. It’s easy to have some pretty brutal self-talk. To make ourselves aware of every flaw, everything we said or did wrong, or how we don’t measure up to so-and-so. It’s not so natural for us to be happy about what we’ve got going on.
But let’s rebel against it. Let’s push back and be happy with being average. Just doing that will elevate you above the average. It’s weird, isn’t it?
Give yourself a break. You can be happy where you are.
Now, back to my fiancé and the proposal. (That’s actually what this blog was supposed to be about! Whoops!) It was awesome. Here’s how it went down…
Tom and I had the day off and were planning on going for a walk and brunch at Bronte. I slept in (i.e. did not go to the gym!) and popped downstairs when Tom called out to come and see how cute Barry Wilson looked. (Barry Wilson is our son/child/heir to the throne/Dog)
Now, in my head I thought, by the time I get upstairs he would have moved, but I was still a bit sleepy so thought I’d humour him. I trudged up the stairs without complaint (quite a rare occurence).
I reached the balcony and lo and behold! There was Barry Wilson lying on his side and not even looking cute! (And we all know he’s a very cute dog) I turned my head to the right, where I was shocked to see my boyfriend-soon-to-be-fiance kneeling down on one knee in his grey tracky dacks. He held a little white box and in it was the most beautiful bit of bling I had ever laid my eyes upon.
He said some nice things. (I don’t remember them). He asked me to marry him. (I don’t remember this, either). And I said ‘OF COURSE!’. ( I do remember this) I then proceeded to shake all over.
With trembling hands and a full heart, I called my family in Adelaide and told them how I had snagged myself a fiancé that morning! They we’re over the moon! Even Mum and Dad - who were too busy to talk because they were out ‘out for breakfast’.
As far as I know, we drove to Bronte (my eyes were transfixed on my left hand) for Brunch at our all time fave café, Three Blue Ducks, with the not-as-cute-as-he-should-have-been Barry Wilson in tow.
We stood for a moment to find a table and then, out popped my Mum and Dad!!!! They flew in to surprise me. My sneaky fiancé and family had all lied to me. And I LOVED it. I cried. (It’s worth a mention that I didn’t cry when Tom proposed but I did cry when I saw Mum and Dad. Lol.) BEST DAY EVER.
And then I bought my wedding dress the next day.
...But that’s a story for another time!
Thanks for reading.
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