There's no good reason for this
How’s your week been? Sunshine and roses? Yeah, me too.
Now I’m not here to bring things down a notch, but my week has been pretty shitty.
You want to know why? Well, there’s literally no reason!
Nothing bad has happened. In fact, there’s been plenty of great things. I’ve even had my highest income day since starting Cleverhand! But sometimes you just feel sad.
I struggle with feeling flat. I fight against it, I try to fix it and I look for what I’ve done wrong. But this week, I’ve just wanted to wallow.
When Tom asked me what was wrong on Tuesday, I responded ‘Life’. (I can get a little dramatic!)
I told him that I felt like I was no-good at anything. Literally anything. (See, dramatic.) Now, intellectually I know this isn’t true but in that moment it felt true for me.
When we believe something, we look for reasons to prove ourselves right. For me, it's centred around Cleverhand and exercise.
I'm behind in my work and I feel awful about it. I know I'm doing my best, but it doesn't seem enough. (Please note that I will be working over the weekend to get back on top of it!) I haven't worked out as much as I'd like and I haven't felt like getting out and about.
I hate feeling like this. I don’t deal with it well. I’ve eaten my fair share of carbs and chocolate and it hasn’t even touched the sides!
Each morning I’ve woken up telling myself ‘today is the day I will feel better!’ until I remember all the things I’m ‘useless’ at and it starts all over again.
Clearly, this isn’t a highly inspirational piece of writing we have on our hands here, friends. But sometimes you don’t want to be told what to do. You just want to know that there’s someone else out there suffering with you.
So to all of you who are feeling hopeless, failing, or feel like you’ll never break your funk - I’m here with you.
I’m planning on getting through it by simply riding it out. It will not last.
I’ve found myself re-reading last week’s blog and true to form, I’ve booked in for a Spray Tan, I've got a walk planned with my girlfriends in the morning, and I’m heading out for a wine tonight.
I’m going to paint myself inspiring words, and affirmations that encourage me to feel better. And I’m going to trust that I will come out of it feeling bloody brilliant. It’s all I can do.
There’s only one thing that I can think of that may have brought on this funk: the Full Moon. Generally when I feel a bit off, I check the full moon calendar and true to form there’s usually one on the horizon. It’s crazy. (Seriously, google it. It could explain Trump’s win!) And if that’s not it, it’s nice to pretend there’s a reason for it anyway.
To those of you that do have reasons why you’re feeling blue, I’m sorry. I always think it’s a good thing to talk to someone – whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional.
Please remember that you’re not alone. We all go there from time to time. Let’s hope it doesn’t last long.
Here’s to happier times ahead!